I have pondered quite a bit today about whether or not I would have anything to blog about just yet; but as I was thinking about it I started to remember a topic that has been on my heart as of late. I have been trying to figure out how I can love my husband the way God intended in a marriage. And here is why I have been pondering this.
Ryan and I have been married for just a hair under two months now, and I have already found myself being frustrated with certain things. Not only do guys who are stepping freshly out of bachelorhood have some really disturbing habits, but I have also been finding myself slightly annoyed with having to cook and clean and clean up after a second person. Life was much more simple when I only had to look after myself. I am learning very quickly that the amounts of things to be done become magnified by way more than what it seems like they should be with only one extra person. Dirty dishes in the sink seem to accumulate like we have had guests for every meal. There is laundry enough for five or more people it seems... how many times does a man change clothes in one day?! For goodness sakes, I thought that was supposed to be a female issue. But regardless, these are some of the things rolling around in my mind these days...
Because of all this new found frustration that was stemming from the "man of my dreams", I was starting to worry about the health of our marriage. I began to panic, asking myself if I should be having such feelings when we are still in the very beginning stages of our "honeymoon phase". But while trying to figure all of this out, I have been learning that the health of our marriage is going to be based on the health of our relationship with Christ. I need to have a healthy relationship with Christ to be able to know how to have a healthy marriage with my husband.
My goal is, wanting to learn to love my husband as Christ calls me to. So in order to be able to love Ryan properly, I have to be able to love Christ properly. I can't say I love God, and leave the rest blank. I need to start working on loving God and doing things for him because he is my Lord and Savior, and in all of that I will be able to do things out of love and not out of duty. If I am where I need to be with Christ, it will be so much easier for me to not get so annoyed with Ryan for sensless things. In fact, I have already experienced a little of how, as my relationship with Christ strengthens, my ideas on why I do things have been changing. Instead of doing laundry because it's overflowing from the bedroom out into the hallway, I do it because I love Ryan as I am learning to love God, and I want to do it for him because I want to care for him. Not because it's my duty.
Needless to say, I am learning a lot. Marriage is wonderful and God is an amazing artist when it comes to creating wonderful, beautiful things.
Kasey, my beautiful Granddaughter, this is the way life is. You have to learn to except the good with the bad. Remember, you are both working for Christ and Satan will come against you every way he can. Stay strong, pray,as soon as you get these negetive feelings and DO NOT LET SATAN EVEN GET IN YOUR THOUGHTS. Rebuke him in the name of JESUS CHRIST, YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!!(also adjusting takes time, you grow together). For a good marriage with Love--It takes 3
ReplyDeleteGod, Ryan, and you--and in that order.
One of the things that really helped me alot over the last few years is what Jesus said when Martha was busy serving and she got frustrated with Mary who was sitting at Jesus' feet. Jesus said: "Martha, Martha, thou art careful (worried) and troubled about many things: But One thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." That last part really helped me "...which shall not be taken away from her." A clean house, clean dishes, clean laundry, can be "taken away" because they are things that will always need to be done over & over, but it's so nice to be able to rest in the fact that the time we invest with the Lord is something that can never be taken away from us & it benefits us in this life And in the life to come! :o) Not many people enjoy the laundry, the dishes and cleaning, but investing time with God especially at the beginning of our day can really bring us into a place of peace that when it's time to clean, we are in a much better place spiritually. And when you are cleaning, try to keep the fellowship open with God, put on some Praise & Worship music & sing to God while you're doing stuff. It'll help keep you distracted from the unfun part of cleaning. God can help us to enjoy our time when we're cleaning. My most glorious times have been when I'm communing with God throughout the day, thanking Him, praising Him and it proved to me that I don't have to be miserable when it's time to clean, but just like you said, putting God first especially first thing in the morning & maintaining that relationship all throughout the day makes a HUGE difference. It might still be a challenge to get the hang of, but the more you enjoy God and His presence, the more you will enjoy your day. One way to look at it too (because we've all gotten frustrated with our spouses & our spouses have gotten frustrated at us) is that God Loves me even when I make a mess and instead of wanting to kick and throw things while I'm cleaning or to just leave it there for my husband to clean up himself, the Lord has calmed me down to clean it in a gentle, loving way because I Love God. It all really truly does stem from our commitment to God, our relationship with Him and our Love for Him, just like you said. We train ourselves to do things like that with a good attitude because we Love God and if we can get ourselves to a place where Everything we do is "as unto the Lord" it will help greatly. But, yes definately have your favorite Praise & Worship music on while your doing things around the house (or a teaching series playing) and it will help you greatly as you serve the Lord and Ryan. Being in God's presence like that will really help you to make the right decisions and to do things with a happy heart and the Holy Spirit will begin to prompt you on things you can do for Ryan that he will really notice, love and appreciate. God can help us through anything and help us to have a peaceful day. If you ever start feeling low on your patience, just get back in His presence and ask Him for his help & then actually be listening for Him. Some people ask, but don't take the time to make sure their ears are open to hear from Him. You're a blessing!!! You are a wise woman and you're gonna do great!!! Have a blessed and enjoyable day!!! :o) (D.Rosado- a facebook friend.)
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